Managing Difficult People and Twelve Steps You Must Use
Managing difficult people is tough work. Dealing with difficult people at work or in your personal life is never easy. However, most advice focuses on how you communicate directly with them. But planning and preparation is an important and often overlooked part of dealing with difficult people. So here are 12 of my top steps to help you in successfully preparing to deal with difficult people in any situation.
1. LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES AND EARS
Start by listening with both your ears and eyes. Your ears will hear the verbal messages. Your eyes will see the more powerful non-verbal communication of others. Be aware of what others are saying and how they are acting. Often issues can be quickly dealt with before they become problems when you are aware of what is happening around you.
2. DO NOT IGNORE IT ALL
Ignoring it will not make it go away. When managing others you need to respond to their needs. Ignoring people you find difficult does not work and often makes it worse. You have to be prepared to take action when dealing with difficult people.
3. CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK
Decide to change your outlook and attitude in managing difficult people. If you are dealing with others you find stressful, see it as a learning experience not a problem. Be open to learning the great lessons that these people have brought your way.
4. ALTER YOUR RESPONSES
When you alter your perspective, then your responses also change. You will become more able to see and use other strategies in dealing with difficult people that you would not have used before.
5. REMAIN AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE
Aim to remain as objective as you can. Try to remove all subjectivity in managing difficult people. The more subjective you are, the more emotional you become. Once you become emotional you lose your ability to think and act clearly. So stay in control by striving to remain objective and deal with the facts.
6. REMAIN CALM AND PROFESSIONAL
To assist you to be as objective as possible see yourself as a calm, cool and collected professional. This does not mean that you are cold and heartless. But that in handling others you are professional and calm.
7. TRY LOOKING FORM THE OUTSIDE IN
Strive to step further back and see the situation from the outside looking in. See yourself as an observer of the situation. This helps to give you a different perspective and see the big picture in managing difficult people and situations.
8. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY
Decide carefully what issues you need to pursue and what you just need to let go. Sometimes in managing others you find difficult, you see everything they do in a negative light. You are then constantly fighting battles with them about everything. Smaller issues you would otherwise easily let go now become part of a constant battleground.
9. AIM TO BE OPEN AND HONEST
Avoid playing emotional games in managing people. Aim to be as honest and open as possible. Being deceptive seriously damages your reputation with everyone else around you. Remember a good reputation can take years to develop and minutes to destroy.
10. BE RESPECTFUL OF OTHER PEOPLE
No matter how annoying and frustrating you find others, remain respectful. Abusing others and being disrespectful only reinforces a lack of control on your part. Respectful communication should always be your goal.
11. HAVE EMPATHY FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING
Remember you are dealing with another human being, with all their strengths and weaknesses. Showing empathy often changes your relationship with another person and can open up real communication channels.
12. GET READY TO GO BELOW THE SURFACE
Managing difficult people means having an awareness that how they act on the surface is only the tip of the iceberg. To really understand why a person is acting this way means being prepared to communicate at a deeper level.
THE FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR SUCCESS
Following these 12 steps is a great foundation to ensuring your success in dealing with people in general and especially in managing difficult people.
So what are your thoughts on dealing with such a person? We have lots more great ideas to share with you. As a leading international expert in the field of dealing with people, I invite you to get a FREE copy of my guide on Dealing with Difficult People from our website at http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com
